Are you by any chance familiar with crisis theory? In Marxist theory it refers to the point, the crisis point, when a capitalist society finally tires of the endless cycle of boom and bust and changes into something new. I've heard it used in other contexts, too, like physics with subatomic particles and chemistry. A molecule of water could be thought of as in crisis just before it heats up enough to becomes water vapor.
That's how I feel. I'm right on the edge of becoming something new. I had my boom time in state government, I've had a bust that's lasted over a year and a half. I am on the verge.
I just need someone to help me past the crisis point. The heat for my water. I feel like I could do anything if I just got the chance. I just need a chance.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
A bit about me
So a friend of mine suggested I start a blog to write about my life now. So I guess I'm going to try that out.
I worked for nearly three years for Maryland state government before I was let go in a bit of organizational restructuring. I was distressed but not particularly worried. I was six months away from finishing my master's degree in public administration with a policy specialization (which I eventually got and graduated magna cum laude). I had good experience and really thought I would land on my feet. That was over a year and a half ago.
A series of events have come together to make it really hard for me to find work, me and literally millions of other people. At the beginning of the year, there were 4.4 million Americans who had been out of work for a year or more. As of July that number was about the same. Additionally, the number of unemployed people who had been out of work for 99 weeks or more exceeded two million, the first time it had done so since the Bureau of Labor Statistics started tracking the statistic. Hell. So you could say that competition is fierce. Additionally, the Federal Career Intern Program (FCIP) was in its death throes. The FCIP combines education and experience in a federal agency to take recent graduates and turn them into valuable, well-trained employees and management material. People other than me thought it would be a great opportunity, too. I know for a fact that the Government Printing Office (GPO) got nearly ten times as many applicants for the class starting in 2010 than the previous class. My friend was in that previous class and is now quite happy and successful. This incoming class got as far as the interview phase (which I didn't make it to) before all the openings were cancelled. Like I said, the program was in its death throes. It's going to be replaced with the new Pathways program but the new rules are still in the comment phase as far as I know. In over a year and a half I've had exactly one interview with any government.
I've tried the private sector. Every interviewer asks why I'm leaving the public sector. I explain that I don't owe the government anything (other than a truckload of student loans). I just want to work. I don't think they believe me. For the record, the company which finally hires me will garner my very serious loyalty. Really.
Finally, I'm married and have a five month old daughter.
That's her having a nosh on her hand. She loves eating her hands. Which is adorable. She likes to wipe her wet hands on my face, though, which is slightly less adorable. She's wonderful and fills my days with joy and play and outright awesome.
But I want to be the kind of person she'll be proud of. I don't always feel that way now. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being a full time parent. But I've worked really hard to get me experience and education and I'd like to use it. I'm a firm believer in the value of service to others and I really want to serve. I feel like I have more potential to make the world a better place for her by working than by being a stay-at-home dad.
So that's me, well us. I've got a couple more posts for the next couple of days that I'm still fleshing out. I hope to post regularly but we'll see how often I manage something interesting to say in this space.
Thanks for reading,
Jason
I worked for nearly three years for Maryland state government before I was let go in a bit of organizational restructuring. I was distressed but not particularly worried. I was six months away from finishing my master's degree in public administration with a policy specialization (which I eventually got and graduated magna cum laude). I had good experience and really thought I would land on my feet. That was over a year and a half ago.
A series of events have come together to make it really hard for me to find work, me and literally millions of other people. At the beginning of the year, there were 4.4 million Americans who had been out of work for a year or more. As of July that number was about the same. Additionally, the number of unemployed people who had been out of work for 99 weeks or more exceeded two million, the first time it had done so since the Bureau of Labor Statistics started tracking the statistic. Hell. So you could say that competition is fierce. Additionally, the Federal Career Intern Program (FCIP) was in its death throes. The FCIP combines education and experience in a federal agency to take recent graduates and turn them into valuable, well-trained employees and management material. People other than me thought it would be a great opportunity, too. I know for a fact that the Government Printing Office (GPO) got nearly ten times as many applicants for the class starting in 2010 than the previous class. My friend was in that previous class and is now quite happy and successful. This incoming class got as far as the interview phase (which I didn't make it to) before all the openings were cancelled. Like I said, the program was in its death throes. It's going to be replaced with the new Pathways program but the new rules are still in the comment phase as far as I know. In over a year and a half I've had exactly one interview with any government.
I've tried the private sector. Every interviewer asks why I'm leaving the public sector. I explain that I don't owe the government anything (other than a truckload of student loans). I just want to work. I don't think they believe me. For the record, the company which finally hires me will garner my very serious loyalty. Really.
Finally, I'm married and have a five month old daughter.
But I want to be the kind of person she'll be proud of. I don't always feel that way now. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being a full time parent. But I've worked really hard to get me experience and education and I'd like to use it. I'm a firm believer in the value of service to others and I really want to serve. I feel like I have more potential to make the world a better place for her by working than by being a stay-at-home dad.
So that's me, well us. I've got a couple more posts for the next couple of days that I'm still fleshing out. I hope to post regularly but we'll see how often I manage something interesting to say in this space.
Thanks for reading,
Jason
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